To truly be successful in any area of life you must seek out win/win situations which benefit all parties included. This may sometimes come with a bit of compromise on either side but the end result will be a strong professional or personal relationship.
A win/win is centered around the principle of interdependent relationships, in other words, I have become independent but I’m now being selfless in allowing my self to benefit others and vice versa. A win/win almost always has to be consciously sought, they don’t usually fall into peoples laps. At least one of the parties involved has to be aware, to not only listen but to heed the other side.
If your goal is anything but a win/win it will ultimately end up being a lose/lose because of the bad blood created on either side- even if this doesn’t affect a party immediately the negative backlash will hit eventually.
Lose/win situations often derive from a lack of confidence, a need to please others/likability or an intimidation of power. In this situation, you would be giving up what you really need/want out of the deal and giving in to the other party. Most people presented with a lose/win deal often take it, not considering the consequences for you, the loser, but especially those that see win/lose deals. This ultimately turns into a lose/lose situation because of the strain it puts on the relationship, especially for the losing party. Granted sometimes situations like these are needed, maybe to reassure someone that your relationship is a priority over your desires.
In a win/lose mindset you’re out for your own benefit and will do anything to attain what you desire even if (and sometimes especially) when the other person loses. This can obviously cause a lot of tension on relationships, both personal and professional. The losing party will almost always feel like they’re being taken advantage of, making them much less likely to want to have any further dealings with you– causing you to also join the losers table.
So, take into consideration next time you’re trying to execute a deal, ‘does this benefit both parties agreeably?’, ‘Will this cause future friction?’. Consciously striving for win/win situations will make you a desirable partner, in your personal life as well as your professional life.